Ouch!

I have realized a few things lately. Some of them are things I didn't want to realize, such as...

1. I hold grudges. I mean, I really, really hold grudges. I am still holding some grudges from elementary school. I won't say how long ago that was, but believe me when I say it was a long time ago.

I am going to try to let go of all of those grudges. The only one I seem to be having a problem letting go of involves my kid. I don't know if I can ever "let go" of what was said and done to my kid, KWIM? Does that make me a bad person?

2. I am very judgmental. You know, anyone who does things differently than I do. Sheesh! Why do I feel I can pass judgment on other people? Now, before I am too hard on myself, I will say that everyone is judgmental. I know that. I stopped going to church years ago because it was just one big judgementfest. But I really think this is something I need to work on. Maybe I should just pick one or two things to be judgmental about, and let the rest go. :-)

3. Number one and number two are intertwined. If I am holding a grudge, there is surely some judging going on there.

4. My children learn more when I don't get into their way. Yeah, it's true. I am the one who usually kills the joy of learning, because we have to do this worksheet, or fill in the blanks of this book, or whatever.

My children would have been perfect unschooled kids. They are constantly trying to learn - whether it is the math needed to build something or the proper sentence structure needed to write a letter to someone - they are always trying.

I am the one who can't let go of the checklists and lesson plans.

Geeze. I think that is enough self reflection for today. I am off to heal my wounds with chocolate.